don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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