Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
The Olympian is in my bed
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
