Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
