Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
