I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
