All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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