Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
