His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
