your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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