I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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