No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
