I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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