I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
