if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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