All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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