we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
