how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize