and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You pole danced in your parka.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
