I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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