Where did you get a picture of my penis
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
