Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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