I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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