fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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