Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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