Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
