This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
