I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
