I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
what day is it and did you see me today?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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