really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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