it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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