Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
