Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
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