ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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