I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize