3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
