The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
