Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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