Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
