he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
