If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
