She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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