WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize