the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
