You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
