Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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