I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize