doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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