How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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