dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
