if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
