yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
