we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize