i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
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