dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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