is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
birth control should be required to get into college
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Randomize
