We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
