I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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