Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
