there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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