So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
