States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
