I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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