Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
